Matt? Here, meet Mr Crazy
by Luxia-san
Summary: Title is Summary. One-shot. And ALRIGHT, fine! So I might've stretched the "humorous" part a bit? Heh heh... Matt x Mello Was torn between Romance and Friendship but since I'm a sappy sap ... I HAVE NO SHAME


Matt didn't meet Mello under normal circumstances. Normal circumstances included an introduction, polite greetings and warm smiles. Then it'll conclude with whether or not their first impression of you would make them want to meet you again. No, that wasn't how he met Mello. _His_ first impression of Mello was: _I fear for my life._

Matt was lying peacefully on his bed just about to beat another game with top scores when someone kicked open the door and barged right in, causing him to almost drop his NintendoDS. He stopped mid-curse though when Matt saw what looked like dried blood on the girl's clothes. Icy blue eyes turned to him and he found that he couldn't look away… which really was an annoyance since that had caused him his last life. Probably a good thing though, as annoyance brought him courage.

"Who the heck are you?" He asked.

Crazy Stranger stared at him for a while before walking towards him in a relatively slow manner and it was only then that Matt noticed the Swiss Army knife peeking out from his pants pocket. Matt gulped. Nope, never mind, definitely a bad thing. Bad bad bad.

When Crazy Stranger came even closer, now bearing a smirk, Matt noticed another thing: "she" was actually a "he". _I'm gonna get murdered by a lunatic with an angelic face. Fuck, I knew Roger didn't like me but c'mon! At least kill me with a big burly man!_ Geez, even his death has to be embarrassing.

Matt immediately started up his game again and fingers tapped feverishly on the controls. His sudden action must've confused Beautiful But Still Crazy Mr. Stranger because he asked, "The hell you doing?" Even his voice was deceptively beautiful! So not fair! It'd be freakin' useful whenever he plays Halo. Like, "Wow, hot skills." Then when his victims get high on an egoistic trip with compliments showering from the rare "girl", he'd go BANG BANG HALLELUJA!

The scene made him grin and it must've been a pretty lunatic grin if it stopped his soon-to-be murderer in his tracks, looking at him like _he_ was the one gone cookoo. HA!

But it didn't stop him for long as two seconds later, his game flew out of his hand and landed on the floor. The cold chill of a sharp blade underneath his jaw forced him to look up, and the same icy blue eyes locked Matt into another stare. "I asked you a fuckin' question."

Matt gulped and despite the current circumstances, he blushed. _When did he get in front of me so fast? And straddling?!_ It would've been so much better if Mr. Murderer here really was a girl. Then Matt wouldn't have been attracted to him. _Yummy, his breath smells like chocolate... Shit, focus! Crazy Murderer here!_

The fingers tightened impatiently and Matt stammered out, "W-Well, I j-just thought th-that if I'm gonna d-die, I'd like t-to die a-after I beat that, um… game…" His fingers entangled themselves into the bed sheets and he closed his eyes, hoping that death would come quick and painless.

Beautiful Crazy Stranger cocked his head slightly to the side, looking down at the eyes shut tight redhead and a smile found its way onto his face.

"Wish granted."

The knife left his neck and Matt's eyes flew open. "Wha…?"

Beautiful And Still Crazy But Nice Mr. Stranger slid off of Matt's lap and Matt felt a slight disappointment. Not from having not been killed, no, he was thankful for that. There were still many games that he hadn't played yet and he had almost pestered Roger enough to buy him a new game console. Which reminds him…

"Didn't Roger send you to kill me?"

Nice Crazy Stranger scoffed as he headed for the bathroom, "Isn't he supposed to be the caretaker here? Why'd he want to kill you?"

"So that I'd finally stop pestering him about buying me a new xBox."

The blonde turned to stare at him in utter disbelief. Then seeing the firm belief on the redhead's face, he laughed. Matt found the laugh melodic and also found his face turning to a color that rivaled his own hair's fiery redness. When Not So Nice Anymore Mr. Crazy Stranger finally came down from his high, there were tears in his eyes, "Ha…" He sighed. Turning back around, he walked into the bathroom and closed the door, clutching onto his stomach saying, "What an idiot…!"

Matt's face grew even brighter and pouted, "Well if that wasn't it, then why?!"

Matt then decided to redub the blonde again when he came out naked (saved for his black boxer shorts) Mr. Crazy Stranger Whom I Wish Would Do This And That To Me and briefly wondered if the blonde is also dubbing him in his head. If he was, it'd probably be Blushing Victim Who I Am Seducing. He decided that he didn't mind the nickname, even if it was only imaginary.

So Blushing Victim Who I Am Seducing tensed when Mr. Crazy Stranger Whom I Wish Would Do This And That To Me strode sultrily towards him, ":Why Mattie-kun," he singed and Matt's eyes widened at the blonde's knowledge of his name. "I never had the thought of killing you."

Matt's jaw dropped open and started gesturing wildly, "B-but the blood! On your shirt! Isn't that from your last murder victim?!"

Mr. Stranger Who Somehow Knows My Alias shook his head in amusement, "It is but not from a _murder_ victim. Someone said that I looked like a girl and so I beated said someone up. But no, I didn't kill him." Then he added like an afterthought, "Though I suspect that he needed to go to the emergency hospital after I was done with him." He shrugged, "Didn't stay around long enough to find out."

Matt thanked his lucky stars that he hadn't made the same mistake like the poor soul did before pointing at the Swiss Army knife accusingly, "Then what about that, huh?! I still have a mark where you pressed it against, you know?! Weren't you going to slit my throat?" He said as he raised his chin up, pointing to where the cold blade had rested. To be honest, he didn't know whether there was a mark or not to even begin with but he was embarrassed at being wrong and he could feel a certain part going hard from staring at the blonde's body so much. _Ohhh those abs…!_

Mr. Stranger Who Turns Out Not To Be My Murderer But Still Crazy had reached the bed where Matt was still sitting at and stared at the redhead for a moment before smiling. "You mean along here?" He asked softly, ghosting a black fingernail horizontally underneath Matt's raised jaw. A shiver went down Matt's spine and the next thing he knew, he was lying flat on his back with his head entrapped by the hands of Mr. Crazy Stranger.

 _I knew that smile was too innocent to be true!_ Matt thought and as he fidgeted, not truly knowing whether he wanted to get out from the sexy blonde's trap or get in deeper. Both seemed like such good options! Wait, nope. He needed to get to a cold shower fast before the other notices the added height in his pants.

The blonde glanced down and then smirked. Oops, too late.

Mr. Crazy Stranger Who Now Knows I Have The Hots For lowered himself closer to the squirming redhead beneath him and said in a teasingly husky voice, "Why, Mattie, I was annoyed when you didn't answer my question fast enough that time. It'll be something that we would have to work on later on."

Matt stopped his movements for the moment, shocked, "Wait… What do you mean _later on_? It can't have been easy to sneak into the school grounds here and you were already caught by someone! Never mind that you even, most likely from your vague description, beat him to _pulp_. You think that you could sneak back in here again?! And just _why_ did you come here anyway?"

The blonde grinned sadistically, "Well, you see Mattie… I'm your ne-"

Loud knocks stopped the next few words from coming out and Matt was aggravated. _So dang close!_ Before either of them, or in this case, the dominating blonde, could get up and open the door, it opened itself and Roger stepped in saying, "I have some news for yo-"

Matt could only imagine what thoughts ran through the headmaster's mind as his eyes took in the scene. A suspicious sexy hot blonde towering over him in boxer shorts in bed, one smirking his mouth into a permanent shape and the other red in the face with his private sticking up to the sky smugly. Matt had _never_ been so embarrassed in his life. Not even when he was caught getting hard staring at a game system. So he did what he could to savage the situation.

Matt headbutted Mr. Crazy.

The blonde fell onto the floor with a pained shout and was about to make the Matt regret all his life decisions when said redhead rushed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

He burst into laughter, cackling evilly, "I'll even allow you to sniff on my clothes when you masturbate! I _know_ you're thinking 'bout me, Mattie~!"

From inside the bathroom, the sound of water rushing out was heard and Matt's voice rung out, "You hear that? That's the sound of a cold COLD shower!"

"Aw, so you admit that you did get turned on because of me? I'm flattered."

Matt could practically hear the smirk in the voice and groaned in defeat as he stepped into the bathtub, "Aren't you supposed to be doing something, Roger? He's not a student here in Wammy's."

"Actually, Matt," Roger started, "That's what I was going to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

Letting out a deep sigh, Roger finally said, "Mello's a new student here. He's going to be your roommate from now on."

… " _ **WHAT?!**_ " …

Mello kicked opened the bathroom door (much in the similar manner of how he introduced himself into the redhead's life earlier) when he heard a loud thump and cry of pain. The sight he saw brought back the smirk.

"Nice ass."

* * *

 **A/N: Welp, I needed a break from my other Death Note story and what better way than to have fun with Matt? And like in my other story and as I had stated in my profile, let's start the guessing game! PM me if you think that you know how the ending became that (what caused Mello to say, "Nice ass.") and I'll write a oneshot fanfiction on whatever subject you like with the setting you would like to read of.**

 **...As long as I know enough about it...**

 **Mello: THAT'S how I concluded my first impression of Matt? NICE ASS?!**

 **Matt: It's true, though. *wiggles butt* Isn't it true, Mello?**

 **Mello: *fustratingly takes a bite of chocolate* You made Matt OOC.**

 **Me: Don't care, it was bordering on crack anyway. Just didn't warn the readers. MWUHAHAHAHA! (Please don't hate me ... Here, have some of L's cake!)**

 **Mello: You're giving away L's cake?! ... And I'm the one that's called crazy...**


End file.
